it seems my issue has been resolved. after countless messages with MSN support
http://messenger.msn.com/Help/ and countless messages with HOTMAIL support
http://www.hotmail.msn.com/cgi-bin/support .. no idea what was the problem .. but I don't care no more. the issue is resolved. just bug the living hell out of them if you have the same problem as I did. I guess that's the only way.