Have you tried the steps that I provided in my earlier post?
Windows Messenger asks for an update because there have been some security issues. The newest version is 5.1
Are you streaming with Windows Media player? If so the problem might be that you don't have enough bandwidth for MSN Messenger.
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There is no specific time when this occurs. It has happened to my mates too so I doubt it's anything to do with my PC or connection.
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That your friends have had the same problem doesn't mean that it had the same cause.
Do your friends live in the same area and maybe have the same internet provider?