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The easiest way to distinguish between who is trying to scam you and who is legitimat is to use a different name for chatting with from the one you have listed for contacting on a dating service. This way those who chat with you don't know your dating name and can't possibly IM you regarding that service if they are in a chat room with you. As far as tracing the IP address goes, don't bother. There are much better ways to get around figuring out if they are scamming you or not than by trying to figure out where they are from.
For example: they will ask you for information you ought to know you shouldn't give out (ie. Credit Cards, Bank accounts, Usernames/Passwords, Social Security, Address, Phone Number, etc.) If they ask for any of those just ignore them and move on, or tell them that they don't need to know that at the present time. IF they are a legitimate contact then they will chat with you more than once (I'm pretty sure they would, I mean why wouldn't they) and scammers will not.
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