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I haven't had 100% success with video chat, ever. Some of the possible causes are: each person using a different version of AIM; using a very old version of AIM; cross-chatting between PC & Mac; drivers not installed/incorrect; software firewall on either (or both) persons' computers (zone alarm, norton, mcafee, etc); a hardware file on either (or both) persons' connections such as a router, being on a large network at work/school, or using a wireless connection; some cameras flat-out just don't work.
That being said, you've eliminated some of them, but others could remain. Some software antivirus programs have firewalls that you might not know of, and routers and school networks are tough to battle, even if you set yourself to DMZ on the router.
Sometimes people on the other end don't know what a router is or how their connection is setup, and/or they actually have software firewalls running that they don't know of. It's a huge pain that's had problems since video chat was first implemented into AIM.
Just let it sit and time out while you're waiting for it to connect...then ask the other person to initiate the connection since that often works.
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