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I think what David's trying to say is they may be able to tell if your computer is physically ON from and IP address, as opposed to being shut down. They cannot tell what programs you're using, what screen names you may be logged into or anything else, simply that your computer is on and connected to the internet.
I don't personally use AIM, but with most IM programs, in order to "watch" a particular person, you'd have to be on their buddy list. If you don't accept unknown add requests you shouldn't have to worry about being watched. As a good safety practice - not only should you not accept people you don't know, but NEVER accept a direct file transfer from a stranger - photo, document, etc. or you could end up with a virus you didn't expect. Unless you're 100% sure of the source be very careful.
-Doris-
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