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Hello and welcome to BBB! I'm very sorry that you are going through so much difficulty. And obviously, you now have some very real concerns regarding your choice of actions.
Bottom line, it is illegal to access someone else's accounts without their knowledge and permission. Virtually anything you do on the internet can be traced. It may take lawyers and subpoenas to do it, but it can be done. From a legal perspective even erasing ill gotten files/programs becomes tampering with evidence (as recent file sharing cases demonstrate) should matters reach the courts. Not to mention, illegally obtained evidence would be inadmissable to substantiate any claims you might have regarding defamation or slander.
I certainly understand the desire to find out/prove you are right - but as you've now discovered, having such knowledge opens up a whole different can of worms. Giving advice on how to extricate from such a situation can be construed as aiding someone's illegal actions. For that reason - I will simply wish you the best in any choice you make on this matter.
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