Hello Everyone
I am Holli and I was asked by a friend to share a life experience with you all.
I am 27, live in Iowa and I met an amazing Man via the net who lives in Ca. while I was married but not in a relationship with my soon to be xhusband.
We talked on ICQ and MSN for some time and a chat here and there became talking every day, about every thing.
In talking you learn a lot about the other person even things they don’t see them selves. We called it Learning each other
After a little while he asked me to call him so I made him wait until the next day and at the crack of dawn I called him. I loved him before I ever called him and the phone call just made me fall even deeper in love with him. We became like the other half of each other. Not one day went by that we didn’t talk (thank god for pre paid phone card's) lol. We were each others first phone call of the day and the last thing we did before going to bed. Time went on and we just grew even deeper in love to the point that we longed to meet in person, to see what the other looked like when they smiled, said each others name, and just to see the other one be more happy than we ever thought possible.
Behind all the bliss is the internet and how it twists things because it is made up of lies and cruel intentions sometimes not meant to happen but they just do. Not always due to being just plain mean but due to being what you wish you could be but are not. The net allows people to hide there flaws and little imperfections and even more so the big one's.
I was that person in the relationship I had found myself so in love with that I thought just being plain me wasn’t ever going to be good enough or perfect enough. So I lied in the beginning to hide from a stranger who I found to be interesting, and that stranger turned out to be all I have ever wanted in my life. So In the middle I kept up the lies to hide the first ones, It got so out of hand that in the end well you all know you can never hide or run from the truth and it caught up with me and killed the love in his heart for me. Along with the lies was a life of transformation and regrowth of a person who learned how to like her self and learned to become worth something, he taught me how to love, live, and be happy.
It kills me to go a day with out him, and each day seems to get longer and longer.
Along with the lie's was a moment in time I wasn’t faithful to our commitment to each other and rather than just be honest I lied again to hide from the truth.
I can’t start to tell any of you how important it is to be 100% honest no matter what right from the start with all people in all things. I learned a lesson that will haunt me for the rest of my life when I lost Him and forever I will search for his love to return to me.
I offer this advice to all people who love each other and met via the net.......
If it is real you will know it, only real love leaves finger prints on your heart that never go away. If it is real don’t hide from it. I was asked a question some time ago before I failed love and that was "When are you going to let life start for you Holli"?
Then was the first time I realized He was the thing I had been searching for all my life and didn’t think could ever be real.
If nothing ever good comes of the mess I made for myself for and Him then maybe I can help others who are in a long distant relationship and met on the net.
To the person who has been wronged in a relationship let me just say people are not perfect and we all have to at one point in our life stop and ask for forgiveness for one thing or another, I beg you be forgiving and never give up on love no matter what!!!
Be as forgiving as you would want the other to be of you.
I wish all people to be happy and I hope for all of you that you find what your looking for, JUST BE HONEST NO MATTER WHAT!!
Searching for his love HH (just me)