Sad...

[AwesomeSauce]

Today, not long after school, there was a dance(in the school). I decided to go and see what it was like. At about 3:15, they let the students into the school building and into the gym. The gym was very crowded, but I barely saw anyone dancing. There was also really loud music playing. Most of my friends danced; 1 or 2 of my friends danced with like 5 girls, but the whole time I just wandered around, talking to my friends once in a while.

After about 45 minutes more and more people were dancing with each other; but I didn't dance once. What's also sad is that I really, REALLY wanted to dance, but I must have been to shy , or just didn't have the gut, because something was keeping me from asking any girls to dance. I would only dance if a girl asked ME, then I would. But nobody did.

But later, when I was walking by some benches in the gym, I passed a couple of girls, and one of them was looking at me, and I was able to hear her say to me: "Hey, has anybody-" but then the girl next to her quickly covered her mouth. I gave a strange look, then walked away. Then my brain auto-completed her sentence: Has anybody danced with you yet? That's also when I realized that I've seen her before. And then I immediately knew where I've seen her; way back in third grade. She used to chase me around in third grade at recess with another girl. And she still looks like how she was back then. Now she is very pretty... her brown hair only came down to about her neck, and she was wearing a blouse with abstract designs on it. I think she was wearing earrings, too. She's about as tall as I am, and I'm one of the tallest out of my group of friends. I also remembered her name... Now come to think of it, I really don' know what she would have said, een if she was aiming at me. That doesn't matter too much right now though.

I tried to act casual, walking around near them. She had to have seen me at least once after that. I would have loved to dance with her... but still, some kind of power was keeping me from asking. That's when I thought I should ask her name, just to make sure it really is her, but when I walked back to where she and her friends were, she was gone. I went around looking for her, which took me about 5 minutes, and then I saw her again, near the end of the gym. I would have asked her what her name is, email address(if she had one) or maybe even her phone-number, but I just couldn't do it. Something was holding me back.

I got really sad when the dance was over; I didn't get to dance once. But I guess it's mostly my fault I didn't ask. but I still wanted to talk to her.

After the dance, most of the students went outside to see some hawaiian people dance at the side of the school. Most of the students exited out the back of the school. I scanned the sidewalk in the back of the school for that girl, but I couldn't find her. So I decided to go stand with the other students while we watched hawaiian people dance. I still looked for her. Then I saw her! she was sitting down in the grass with her friend. I thought I'll ask her name and stuff after the performance is over. I just sat with the crowd and watched, but I had my other eye on her so I couldn't lose her.(I lost her a couple of times, but I found her again)

Once it was over, I kind of followed her to the front of the school. The students were leaving, and I wanted to quickly talk to her, but then I couldn't. I just couldn't. I walked closer to the street. I turned and just decided to go home. I walked a few steps, then quickly stopped and turned around. She must have walked in the opposite direction; she was gone. Sadness overflowed my heart and leaked out my eyes.

BTW, that was the first dance I've ever been to, I have never danced with another girl before. I really wanted to do it, but some kind of force made me feel like I was chained to a wall and couldn't do anything, or in this case, ask a girl to dance.

That girl was in my third grade, but I never saw her after that(until today). When I got home from the dance, I went to my room, dug my 3rd grade yearbook out of my drawer, and madly searched through the pages to find my 3rd grade class. When I found it, she wasn't in there. Then I remembered that she had moved into our school after they had taken picture for the yearbook. That was the explanation to why she wasn't in it.

I remember when she used to always chase me around outside at reccess, and sometimes she said that she was gonna kiss me, but never did(just a joke). But now I am completely wild for this girl, and I would kill someone to know her last name. But today, those two words are the first words I've heard her say since 4 years ago.

But what was wrong with me at the dance? I thought I was just too shy, but then I thought "How could that be possible? If I really wanted to dance,how would I be so shy at the same time?

But what makes me really sad right now (besides not dancing) is I have no idea how to contact her.

Edit: it's scary how you can search someones name on the internet and find their exact location and phone-number. That's what I did, and now I have her last name, and I tried to send an email to her school address (I know how the school's email thingy works: the student's email address is [year you graduate][first initial][last name]@[schools internet address] even though the chances of she or tons of other students ever check their school email is very slim. But I hope it works out.

But does anyone have an idea about what my problem was at the dance? please reply...

[ys8er2323]

yea I got that same prob. your mental self tells you one thing but your physical self, does another

quote:Originally posted by AwesomeSauce

.......I would only dance if a girl asked ME, then I would. But nobody did...........

ok. Dude you gotta take charge and ask a girl to dance, like the Veronica girl, I dont know the tone of her voice when she said "hey has anybody danced with you" but the way you talk about it, you should of asked her to dance. Also I noticed your picture in the one thread and no offense to you, but, I think you could use a new hairstyle..

[AwesomeSauce]

quote:Originally posted by thebiggster

I think you could use a new hairstyle..

Who, me? nah, you don't know what my hair looks like when it's not wet or has gel in it. After my hair dries, I comb it back to form a big wave in front of my hair. I think it looks nice... I tried to look as nice as I could for the dance.

[Hurricane22491]

I know how it is when you can't seem to talk. I knew this girl in 4th and 5th grade, and I've seen her a few times, but we just don't talk anymore. She used to chase me around and try to do stuff to me too....

[AwesomeSauce]

No other comments, eh? I guess nobody(excluding ys8r, biggster, and Hurricane) cares. [] hmm?

[Someguy03]

Whoa calm down good friend, I just noticed this topic =)

I can understand how you feel. One time in 5th grade there was this girl that I was completly obsessed with and I just totally went spechless whenever I talked to her. When I got to 6th grade, I still couldn't talk to her even though I wanted too. I had always been shy, and I was totally horrified of girls.

The problem is that when your younger and your in elementry school you aren't really interested in girls and you have never had to talk to them or get to know them. Then you hit middle school or high school and your suddenly surrounded by girls, have to work with them, and have dances, and so on.

Then I met these populer (but VERY NICE) girl's and they helped me stop being afraid of girls by hanging out with me, having me to talk to their friends, eat lunch with me, do projects with me, etc. I got over the thing you were talking about, where I would dance with a girl if she asked but I wouldn't ask a girl myself. I finally loosened up and now I am less shy than most of my friends.

It seems like you are still at that stage where girls are kind of awkward to talk to. If I were you I would try and push into the next stage, or maybe just wait until it comes. It sounds like you wanted it to change now (dance), and that might take some of your own work. Get some more girl friends (not gf's, just friends) and hang out with them alot and try to get to know them if you work with them in class. You will slowly stop being nervous around girls, and will eventually be able to take control and make the move (ask them to dance).

And you wanted to know why you didn't ask her when you wanted too so bad. You must consider that the fear can easily pursuad your choices. As in, you have the urge to ask her, but your afraid and you aren't positive she was going to ask you if you had danced with anyone yet. Your fear is much stronger than your urge to ask, so you don't.

When you haven't talked to a girl since 3rd grade, you are in no position to slow dance. If you want to ask at the next dance, I would suggest you get to know her again first and try to hang out with her.

[AwesomeSauce]

Thanks, someguy. I really appreciate that reply.

It felt kind of akward that day at school, seeing a lot of my friends dance with other girls when just a few years ago, my friends were afraid of getting "cooties".

I know some nicer girls that aren't THAT popular, but I'm sure - I mean, I can tell - they don't mind hanging out with boys like they did in elementary school. I'll say Hi to them more often

[Tigerblade]

all I can say is.... life goes on. its just a phase, you'll get through it more or less intact, and life will go on. everyone goes through the same thing at some point in their life, this is just your time for it. at some point, these girls will see something in you that they like, and your life will be that much easier.

[Oreo]

HEY! I've been away and last night I was reading the thread and wrote this HUGE post with a girl's point of view, then when I went to send the post...*BAM* the Internet went out and I lost it! To make a long story short...don't pass up opportunities, the first few times you talk to girls are going to be difficult, but then you'll realize, just like they were in Kindergarten, girls are still really easy to talk to and you can have a great conversation. The thing with girls is that some girls are ready to talk to boys and some aren't (just like some guys are and some aren't) BUT, with girls, they hang out so closely together that if ONE is ready and ONE isn't...they generally won't talk to boys...they tend to stick together...the fact that you kept talking about how the two of them were together the whole night kind of gave me the idea that the other girl with her isn't ready to talk to boys.
Another thing is, I used to chase a boy around the playground when I was little, and in second grade he kissed me (I told my father about it and from then on he referred to the boy who's name was "Erick" as "No Lips" needless to say Daddy wasn't too pleased, but that's another story)...my point is this...if, being your age, I saw that boy again I would have been MUCH too frigthened to talk to him...maybe a "hi" AND if I had a friend who was my "BEST FRIEND" and she didn't really want to talk to boys, I probably would have given up and we would have run off somewhere and giggled a lot and talked about something else. So, the moral of the story...don't regret not ever taking the chance, next time you get the feeling you should talk to a girl, just talk to her. It's hard, but really they are just like guys and are just as afraid, I'm not going to tell you that you certainly won't get turned down, everyone does now and then, and some people more than others and some less. But it's better to say, "Well, at least I tried." Than to say "I'll NEVER know." Even though sometimes, at the moment, it won't feel that way.