I need advice on how to stop thinking about this girl so I can move on...

[Someguy03]

Without going into much detail, me and this girl were together and then a few days ago it all ended...horribly (she left me, I didn't leave her).

It's really frustrating because I dont have any interest in getting back with her, but I cant stop thinking about her. I tried busying myself by hanging out with my guy friends, but I usually have school, and so I basically spend all of after school being depressed about her. I see her away messages saying shes hanging out with other guys, and I get jealous and depressed about that. We can't really talk because when we do we usually end up fighting (I have noticed that in most cases it takes a few months before you are able to talk again as friends without it being weird).

I really need advice on how to get my mind off her/how to not think about her what shes doing/etc.
Any recieved would be VERY appreciated.

[gossipingrae]

stop reading her away messages for starters. take her off your list. join a school activity or something. get interested in another girl.

[Aqeel]

Originally Posted by gossipingrae

take her off your list. join a school activity or something. get interested in another girl.

gossipingrae, you're so right in these statements. Specially the last one get interested in another girl, Someguy03 that will take off your mind from her.

[Someguy03]

So finding a girl is key?

[Tigerblade]

not necessarily finding another girl, just finding something to keep your mind on something other than her. i know when i've broken up with girls in the past, it takes a while before i can stop thinking about them. after you've been that close with someone for that amount of time, it's rough trying to just block them out if they're causing you mental anguish. what works for me is simply finding something to keep my mind occupied.

while i dont recommend removing her from your life completely, i'd suggest not checking her away messages, not trying to call her or anything like that... just look beyond her. although, finding another girl is also a great way...

[EEDOK]

ummm dude you're single..
See austin powers 2 for more information.

[sarahtowny]

Ahh to be young again, just find another girl! ... if only it was that easy. Mmh wished that worked when you get older ...

Not trying to belittle love when your young, but even when I was in my teens and I broke up with someone, just replacing them with a new model was not my way personally. Whatever happend to licking your wounds for a moment, thinking about why it did not work, so that in your next relationship you do not make the same mistakes again? Have time to yourself to accept she was not for you, but let time heal you a little before getting a new girlfriend. Because as far as I am concerned you would not be ready at the moment for a new girlfriend and if you did it would be unfair on her as you would still be thinking of your ex, and that sounds like a receipe for disaster!

Just take some time out, don't read her messages just enjoy being with your mates for a bit.

Or am I showing my age!! :0)

I don't think finding another girl would be the answer. That really wouldn't show any strength on your own part. First of all it would be just using a girl as a scapegoat from your problems (basically being on the rebound) and second you'd just be simply avoiding the real problem by relying on someone else. Sometimes you have to do things yourself and of course have the comfort of friends now and then, but they won't always be there throughout life. It's perfectly normal to miss someone especially after breakup and feel the way you do, as long as you don't let it get to the point where months pass by, and you're still feeling the same. Feel sad, don't lock everything up inside, and after a while just tell yourself, past is past, I have to move on and can't keep looking back. Look at this way, she seems to me to have moved on with her own life without even a worry, why should you be giving yourself hell? I do agree with taking her off your list to avoid even reading her away messages and going out with friends, but sometimes even that doesn't do enough because you're still thinking of her when you're out, and that's why it's mostly up to you to move on.

Again you can feel sad as long as you don't let it go past a month or years, and if you are having trouble then, at least instead of using a girl (unless you really feel you're falling for this person), do something else like exercise, or volunteer at a hospital. At least you'll be doing something constructive. This is my own take on it. If anybody feels to disagree, go right ahead I don't mind.

[sarahtowny]

Totally agree with everything Miami says... I see the man has wisdom!! Huggs So I was not just showing my age after all!!

Good luck to you and I hope you don't feel down for too long :0)

[neo_ny_23]

1) Say "F**K you" to her (offcourse not infront of her, only when you are alone in your room) and take her SN off from your buddy list.

2) During a weekend, bring all your friends and make a BBQ or go somewhere with all your friends.

3) If possible join any school activities as Rachel said here. Or concentrate on your job.

4) Tell yourself that "I am much better than any one and if she didnt choose me then its her loss, not mine" and be positive. So if she hangs out with other guys, just feel bad for the other guys rather than getting jealous.
5) Visit http://www.askmen.com and read this article.

6) Trust me. If you have good friends at school and at job, then getting over might be slightly easier. But if you are all alone, things will be hard unless you convince yourself that it wasnt your fault and there is no point of thinking about something thats not gonna happen. Many guys here said that "getting another girl" may not help. I am not asking you to "get another girl". They are not objects. But why dont you see some one else at job or school? Try to hang out with some more people. Learn new things about your female friends. Or simply hang out with male friends, play football, or baseball, whatever interests you and actively participate in activities or just work out heavily at the gym.

Oh yeah. another thing. Take a fresh shower, dress yourself well, put some cologne, and hang out with your friends this evening. Trust me. These simple things do work.