Chat Room Chatter May Lead to Real Romance

[BigBlueBall News]

Reuters

March 15, 2002

LONDON (Reuters Health) - Despite the public perception that cyberspace is a shallow and sometimes hostile environment, lovers who meet through Internet chat rooms may actually end up forming strong relationships, a researcher reported Friday at the British Psychological Society meeting in Blackpool.

Once potential partners meet face-to-face, the relationship may thrive because they feel they already know each other well through their online encounters, said Dr Jeffrey Gavin, a lecturer in psychology at the University of Bath.

Contrary to expectations, most chat room users don’t totally mislead online partners about their looks and shape. Instead, they just tell a few white lies about their height, or the colour of their hair, he said.

"Chat rooms don’t lead to shallow and impersonal relationships," Gavin told Reuters Health. "They lead to really close relationships because people express themselves more freely and are more open and honest on the Internet.

Gavin came to this conclusion after carrying out in-depth interviews with 42 regular chat room users ranging in age from 19 to 26.

"What tends to happen is that, when they meet, it’s a fairly smooth transition from online to offline because they know each other so well. Online, guys can be more emotionally honest and open, while women can be more overtly sexual," said Gavin.

The Internet has gained a reputation as a perfect medium for those seeking casual sex. Earlier this week, results presented at the same conference suggested that gay men in London often used chat rooms to find sex partners.

But the latest study suggests cyberspace may also have some considerable benefits in helping new relationships form.

The interviews showed people routinely lied about themselves online, but in most cases they were minor misrepresentations rather than outright fabrication. Interestingly, this little bit of dishonesty seemed to encourage chat room users to then be more emotionally explicit and intimate.

"They still seem to comply to the social norms around the body," Gavin explained. "So the guys tend to make themselves sound blond and blue-eyed, while the women add a bit of blond to their hair or increase their bust size slightly. It’s true 12 of them told outright lies but the rest just exaggerated slightly."

Gavin said of the 42 volunteers he studied, 29 reported close friendships or romantic relationships with people they met online, with 21 progressing to face-to-face meetings.

"This was more than I expected and these tended to settle into regular relationships. One couple even became engaged to be married," he noted.

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