Old Lady Jokes...hehehe

[shearheaven]

****Two elderly ladies had been friends for many
decades. Over the years, they had shared all kinds of
activities and adventures. Lately, their activities had been
limited to meeting a few times a week to play cards. One
day, they were playing cards when one looked at the other
and said, "Now don't get mad at me ... I know we've been
friends for a long time ... but I just can't think of your
name!
I've thought and thought, but I can't remember it. Please
tell me what your name is." Her friend glared at her. For at
least three minutes she just stared and glared at her.
Finally she said, "How soon do you need to know?"


We're not laughing at ya...we're laughing with ya...

[shearheaven]

****Three sisters ages 92, 94 and 96 live in a house
together. One night the 96 year old draws a bath. She
puts her foot in and pauses. She yells to the other sisters,
"Was I getting in or out of the bath?" The 94 year old yells
back, "I don't know. I'll come up and see." She
starts up the stairs and pauses. "Was I going up the stairs
or down?" The 92 year old is sitting at the kitchen table
having tea listening to her sisters. She shakes her head
and says, "I sure hope I never get that forgetful."
She knocks on wood for good measure.
She then yells, "I'll come up and help both of you as soon
as I see who's at the door."

Hehehe....

[shearheaven]

****An elderly Floridian called 911 on her cell phone to
report that her car has been broken into. She is hysterical
as she explains her situation to the dispatcher:
"They've stolen the stereo, the steering wheel, the
brake pedal and even the accelerator!" she cried.
The dispatcher said, "Stay calm. An officer is on the way."
A few minutes later, the officer radios in.
"Disregard." He says. "She got in the back-seat by mistake."