One of our BBB members, ixfd64, has written a wonderful guide below regarding what to do if you're blocked. This guide first appeared in the AIM Support section, but I'm reproducing it here with ixfd64's permission. I'd like to thank him very much for doing this write-up. It's very informative, I learnt a thing or two myself. Enjoy!
- Philip (BBB Staff) -
WHAT TO DO IF YOU'RE BLOCKED
This guide is intended for AIM users, but it will work for people who use similar instant messengers. I decided to write this guide as people often ask about getting blocked.
How to tell if you are blocked
The first thing you should know is the effects of being blocked. If someone blocks you, they will appear offline to you, and you will not be able to send them messages or see their profile. Similarly, the person who blocked you will not be able to send you messages or see your profile either. The effects are the same as if you blocked that person. (Both users can still communicate indirectly if they are invited to the same chat room by a third user.)
There are ways you can tell if you are blocked. Go to
Blockstatus.com and check if the user is online. Alternatively, you can create another screen name. If the user is online but does not show up on your main account, then chances are that you have been blocked. This will not work if the user only allows messages from people on their buddy list. However, if you have any mutual friends with the user in question, you can ask them to check for you.
Why you may have been blocked
Unlike being banned from a forum, blocks are not administrative/bureaucratic issues. Since each user in charge of their own screen name, they can set whatever rules they like. For example, I could make the following rule if I wanted to:
"Any user with '1337' in their screen names will be blocked - no exceptions."
Fortunately, I'm not mean like that.
Anyways, back on topic. Since blocks are more of a personal issue than an administrative/bureaucratic one, blocked users are not necessarily entitled to know why they were blocked, as opposed to being banned from a forum.
Aside from possibly being offended, many people are under the impression that they must have done something wrong if they were blocked. It would be reasonble for these people to want to know what they did "wrong" so they can avoid getting blocked again. (By the same token, you should show the same level of respect. If someone is making you uncomfortable, you should first ask them to stop instead of rudely blocking them, unless they are
blatantly harassing you.)
This is not always the case. Some users will block other people for merely saying "hi." If you had been polite and respectful to someone and still get blocked, then you've probably done nothing wrong. From what I've noticed, here are the most common reasons for blocking someone, listed in descending severity:
1. user thinks that you're harassing them
2. user feels uncomfortable talking to unfamiliar people online
3. user thinks that you're annoying
4. user is too busy for casual chatting
5. user accidentally blocked you
(To those of you who block people for randomly IM-ing you: why don't use do us both a favor by using the appropriate privacy settings and refraining from posting your screen name on public sites? I'm sorry for putting my soapbox here; I'll put it away right now.)
Some posters on an
earlier thread of mine said that blocks should not be challenged, as blocked users were probably "blocked for a reason."
I disagree. Consider the following scenario:
Suppose that I have a good friend from college, and that we frequently IM each other. My friend blocks me one night, but still wants to eat lunch with me the next day. Should I ask him why he blocked me, or should I suck up the "fact" that he doesn't want to talk to me anymore?
I sure as hell know which option I'm going to take. As a matter of fact, AOL UK
encourages blocked users to ask their friends to unblock them.
Some people on the earlier thread said that it was impossible to block someone by accident. This is not true. If the "accept message" dialog appears and the "b" key is pressed, users will get the option to block. Pressing the "y" key (equivalent to clicking "yes") will block the user. It is possible to block someone by typing the word "by" and not know it.
I've accidentally blocked users this way. Some of my friends have also blocked me by accident, most likely in the same way.
Several people on the earlier thread said that the only reason for getting blocked is that the user "does not want to talk to you."
Suppose that it is impossible to block someone by accident, and that all blocks are intentional. Indeed, the obvious reason for being blocked would be that the user "does not want to talk to you." However, this is very general. There are many real reasons why a user might "not want to talk to you." Consider these examples:
1. "I don't want to talk to you because I'm busy."
2. "I don't want to talk to you because you're a creep."
3. "I don't want to talk to you because I don't like your name."
4. "I don't want to talk to you because you talk too much."
5. "I don't want to talk to you because you made me upset last night."
How to request someone to unblock you
One of the most frequently asked questions is, "Is there a way that I can remove myself from someone's block list?" This is not technically possible. A user's block list data is stored on the AOL server. It can only be changed by the user or an AOL staff member, and you cannot change someone else's block list (unless you hack into the AOL server, which is downright illegal and will likely land you in jail). Any program that claims to be able to get you unblocked is most likely a trojan that will steal your password, and should be avoided. Even if such a program did exist, using it would breach AOL's terms of service and you'd probably get in trouble.
The only way to get unblocked is to "appeal" the block. However, before doing deciding whether to challenge the block, you should try to determine whether the block was intentional or not.
If the block is intentional, trying to "appeal" the block may annoy the user even more, and this may be seen as harassment. If the user blocks you right after you IM them, then the block may be an accident. If the user blocks you after talking to you, then it's likely that the block is intentional. If the user says something like "g2g" before blocking you, then you can be sure that the block was intentional, as the user probably knew what they were doing.
While a block is only a technical means of ignoring your messages, it is generally a bad idea to immediately start IM-ing them on another screen name. In many cases, being blocked means being blocked as a person, not as an account. If the person really wanted to avoid chatting with you, IM-ing them on another screen name may make them more upset. Just because a person does not tell you to stop IM-ing them doesn't mean that you should keep doing so.
If you decide to "appeal" the block, you should use a less "intrusive" method, such as e-mail, to communicate. I consider IMs to be more "intrusive" since they pop up right in front of the user. You should never jump to conclusions or accuse the user in your e-mail. An example of a good e-mail would be:
Quote:
Dear <name>:
I'm not sure if this is an accident or not, but you seemed to have blocked my screen name ("<screen name>") on AIM. If this was an accident, please unblock me at your earliest convenience. If it was deliberate, please tell me why you blocked me, so we can avoid this problem in the future.
Thanks.
For both intentional and accidental blocks, e-mail is the best way. If you do not know the person's e-mail, you can IM them on another screen name, but you should only do this if you're sure the block is accident, as you don't want to harass then. If the block is intentional, you should wait some time (at least a few weeks) before IM-ing the user on your new screen name.
I've gotten several friends (who accidentally blocked me) to unblock me using these methods. One of my friends actually thanked me for asking her to check her block list, because she was blocking several of her other friends and didn't know it!
How to reduce the chances of getting blocked, especially if you're talking to someone you do not know
I don't try to make online friends, so I can't give you any advice on the following area. If you decide to IM unfamiliar people, especially for social reasons such as chatting, here are some ways to lower your chances of getting blocked:
1. Use a less "intrusive" method first, such as e-mail.
2. When IM-ing the person, identify yourself first.
3. Ask the person if it is a good time to talk.
4. Tell the person that you'll leave them alone if they feel uncomfortable with random IMs.
5. The most important: be polite and respectful at all times.
These guidelines can be relaxed if you're IM-ing the person for business reasons, but you should still be polite and respectful. The main reason for being respectful should not be to prevent yourself from getting blocked, but because the person on the other side has feelings, too.
